I often wonder if what it is the human race is missing is a natural predator. Imagine something dangerous, preferable with big claws and teeth, maybe thick fur, that could come and snatch anyone of us at any moment with no warning. SNARCH and gone.
A Scandinavian woman told me a great story. She had gone on one of those tiger safaris through a tiger reserve where nobody ever actually sees any tigers. After the drive she was enjoying a meal in the town when, behold, a tiger arrived. It sprinted down the block, grabbed a barking dog by the scruff of its neck, and was gone in an instant. Imagine what the other dogs thought. Not one of those pooches was ever the same again. If they had been suburban children the therapy bills would probably made orthodontics and college impossible. Each one knew that in their world there was no safety. I bet the next day they barked less and might have even been more considerate when marking the trees and lampposts they claimed as their own. Just think of the potential if these tigers were lose in NY. Rude police men and the walking spittle that occupies Wall St. They would all be fare game.
While India and Asia is full of things that are best described as fucking bizarre, I can’t say I have seen any creatures that would fill the requirements to be the predator the human race requires. But, I can say I dig the way holy cows keep people on their toes. Many of the bovines get pushed around and “Hut”ed away by the locals but every so often you see one of the creatures that have that air of authority. Kings of potential burger kingdom. I am never quite sure if smacking their ass and screaming is the best way to deal with the big fellas even though if is standard procedure for the others. Their height is close to five and a half feet. They have dorsal fins that would make a great white envious. Their racks look like medieval torture devices.
The traveling God Father has told me stories about the cows taking chunks out of people. Michelle the (flying) Frenchmen was apparently tossed a few meters by one. In Jaisalmer a man told me about a rude tourist being shit all over by another. And just the other day I looked up to see a calf running at top speeds down the narrow street right towards me. It was a close miss and part of me hoped that it would get somebody further down the block. In fact, most of me hoped it would get somebody further down the block.
Unfortunately I have never seen one of the cows really stick to somebody. It is my dark and (not so) secret fantasy to see a rickshaw driver (Branden’s mortal enemy) tossed, maimed, stamped, and/’or crumpled by one of these guys. While it has not yet happened, it is nice to know when you hear that ass hole on his motor bike honking his horn that at least there is a chance that this could be his fate.