Bangkok

Who knew that a person could do so much in so little time that they could be so ashamed of? My first act after getting settled in the backpacker ghetto of Ko Sahn road was check out the bootleg documents a street vendor had for sale. Call it an issue of alphabetical order, but when I tossed open the thick three ring binder and on page numero uno was a journalism degree, complete with transcripts prettier than mine, from none other than Arizona State University, there was a simultaneously wonderful and horrible feeling of having arrived. It was if the universe has taken a moment to whisper in my ear "Bangkok's been waiting for you Branden." Let it be known only fools ever think that Bangkok has been waiting for them for any reason other than to play some terrible trick. It was a rather ominous welcome considering what the city had to offer. Bangkok is to Las Vegas as all the crack cocaine in New York is to a sip of decaffeinated coffee. While I have been to Sin City I have never made it to the Nevada Suburb of Slight Indiscretions. But honestly, who could be bothered? Can Cesar's Palace of inaccessible excess really compete with Muay Thai kick-boxing in bars filled to the rim with Thai hookers dressed like Catholic school girls? Designer clothing? Ed Hardy and Evisu jeans for 900...as in Baht...Yeah man, I got fifteen bucks for that. The city is the closest thing to the island of lost boys that Pinocchio did a brief stint on that I have ever seen. It is a free for all slug fest that only those with floating standards of morality can appreciate.

Of course this is not so much the story of Bangkok as it is the story of Ko Sahn road, the holding cell and spring board for westerners into SE Asia. The obscenely cheap food options and international vibe makes for a great scene in some regards. You can get your i-pod updated and charged while a Lady-Boy serves you a helping of Pad Thai noodles for less than a dollar. But all these people looking for something, whether they are chasing dragons, enlightenment, themselves, or just experiences. The good news is somebody, or several somebodies, just around the corner does have what you are looking for. "Special price. just for you friend."

In the context of a SE Asian city Ko Sahn road hurts. It is like every situation that involves sacrificed values for the ability to survive in a capitalist market. The place caters to Westerners worst taste and often darkest secrets. In the Lonely Planet a sex tourist was quoted saying "We don't come to Thailand for the ruins."
Come for the ruins?
Mother Fucker! We all brought the ruins.