It is a well known fact that cheese steaks are delicious. It is not a well known fact that cows, just like dogs, have tickle spots on the bottom of their stomachs. Apply the right scratches and the back leg can hardly hold still. I had just learned this through experimentation while sitting out side my hotel in Orchha. Seconds later I learned that to truly endear ones self to the bovine, simply grab them by the jowls in the manner of flattening a pan cake and rub your hands back and forth as if you are trying to start a fire with friction. All of a sudden I spat the angry word out of my mouth as if it was an ant in a samosa. I had heard it before I was aware of saying it.
FUCK!
Cows had officially become cute and sympathetic creatures. Cheese steaks had officially become less delicious.
My biggest fear was coming back from this trip the exact same person. A few nights ago I ordered spinach soup for dinner and ate the entire bowl of neon green liquid before I realized not only what I had done but that I had also enjoyed it. I guess that fear is off the table.
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4 comments:
Can never live life and remain the same person. Each day brings a lesson to be learned which in turn molds our being for future endeavors. Just don't all of a sudden become a "nice guy" that'd be weird.
mak
he's ALWAYS been a nice guy.
they called him the Big Friendly Giant in nursery school. He raced from upstairs to rescue a chipmunk from our cat when he was about 6.
you're right. I'm back off the beef.
but I know NO endearing stories about chickens...
Didn't you know? - the cuter they are, the better they taste. That's why there's a premium on veal and lambchops. I bet terrier, kitten and baby monkey would be pretty damn good, too.
keep the monkey off my plate; I'll eat the cheese steak.
so do they slobber?
f
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